This week, my oldest son is at Boy Scout camp. He will be 12 in October. This is his first time away from home for more than one night. So what were some things I took into consideration before deciding he was ready for camp? I thought about his maturity. Not just taking into consideration if he was mature enough to go, but also how this experience would help him to develop and gain more maturity/independance. I think it is important for children to be able to grow and develop their sense of identity as they mature and are ready. With my son being the oldest of 3 boys, I also saw how he deserved this experience this year. He does very well at school, has been taking on more and more responsibilities and functioning well with those, and also puts up with a lot from his little brothers. While his little brothers will tell you that they think he is an awesome big brother, I think he deserves a little break and some time to do something on his own while having some fun.
I also want him to start to trust himself to start making some decisions on his own and have confidence in those decisions, while he knows he can come to us if in need of advice to make some of the more difficult ones. Sunday as he got ready to depart I helped him check all of his supplies to know he had all of the essential items for the week. Upon taking him to where the group was leaving from, before we got out of the van, I told him we would pray for his week at camp. We prayed for safe travels and experiences for all throughout the week along with asking for the boys to have lots of fun. I helped him unload all of his stuff to take and as the group prepared to leave, I said a meaningful, but not overly emotional goodbye. Quite often as parents I believe that we need the objectivity to not transfer our concerns/emotions to our children too much as we consider how this can increase anxiety and fear in them about what they are about to embark on. Did I have concerns? Of course! However, I have to believe that if I have done my job as a parent, and that I have prepard him well. I think it is important for him to see that I have confidence in him while reinforcing that if he needs me, I am there for him.
Monday night I did receive a phone call from him at about 10:00 pm. This showed me that he heard what I told him when he left that if he was unsure about something he could ask to call me. I was very fortunate that one of the adults that went had texted me a picture earlier in the day and let me know that he had done and passed his swim check. I was able to share this with him and tell him how proud I was. Then he was able to share his concern with me - bugs in the shower. He is afraid of bugs. I told him that he could wear the water shoes he had with him in the shower. He then shared with me a situation with a peer that he had to make a decision about. Since I could see that decision put him in an awkward position with his peer, I simply took the burden off of him and told him that he should simply say "My mom and dad said no". This allowed it to be mine and my husband's fault for saying no and not his.
I am happy to say that the next morning I got a text from the leader what a great time he is having along with another picture. This reassured me that he was able to move on and is having a great week. I have to say that I am so appreciative of having technology and leaders that allows me to share in his week at a distance.
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